blessings from procrastination + nerves {photography in montana}

i tried not to think about it.

i tried not to think about it at the store.
i tried not to think about it while walking the dog.
while cleaning house.
while eating junk food.
while working off said junk food at the gym.
while surfing pinterest.
while doing laundry.

months ago - january to be exact- i received a wonderful gift for my birthday (thanks mom!). private personal training sessions at a local gym. i am, in some instances, a major procrastinator.
like taking out the trash (because its a pain) only when it's overflowing. waiting to cut my pups nails (because he HATES it) till you can here the clicking noise downstairs. in the garage. with the door closed. hence, why it took me 7 months to get to the gym. it just did.
but there WAS a reason i waited, i just didn't know it.

on my first visit my trainer asked what i do. i gave him the short answer. "i'm a photographer". he said the normal "oh that's nice, i'll keep you in mind if someone mentions needing a photog". that's so nice. thanks!
little did i know the next week he WOULD have someone for me :)



this is where Sarah comes in. she is another PT at the gym and apparently in need of a photographer. for her wedding. in (at the time) a week. what! her other photog got a full time job back home and isn't able to shoot the wedding as planned and didn't let her know till a couple weeks out. good for him, but really?!
anyways, now she needs one and who else does she ask than little old me!

can you believe it?! this is probably the best thing to come out of procrastination that has ever happened to me! ;)

so of course i said yes!
it is this weekend and i am totally pumped, excited, honored, blessed, nervous and freaking out a little!

with full disclosure i communicated that weddings aren't my specialty and i have only shot a few small ones. i am SO honored to be doing this, but the weight of this is definitely not lost on me.  Sarah and Ryan have been together for 6 yrs and this is it. you (hopefully) only get married once and this is the day.
i have to capture everything right then and there. no do-overs. this is a BIG deal!

i have tried talking to some people about this pressure and i get the very sweet response of "you'll be fine" "you're good at what you do" "have confidence" "i'm sure they'll love it" that's nice and all, but lets be real. you screw up wedding photos, it's never forgotten.

i remember my wedding and the photos i got as a result and i can name you 10 things i was really not happy with!

i know i'm  psyching myself out but i really don't want to walk in there thinking they are SO lucky they have me!! i mean come on!

i love portrait sessions and i take EVERY shoot very seriously (just ask my hubby) but i feel like i know the layout and timing of those, so that's why i am nervous about a wedding day shoot.

i'm constantly studying up on all my techniques, the bride and groom took me to the location because they wanted me to see it and i feel super comfortable with them. it's just the timing of things, getting every shot you want and really giving them something they will look back on and love in years to come.

as always i know the most pressure comes from myself. i'm okay with that. but it is a lot to handle. i don't really have fear per say but the verse that keeps coming to mind is II Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind"
i am clinging to that. not just about this but a lot lately. how about you?




one thing i am not worrying about while answering emails and filling up at the gas station, is how gorgeous this couple is and what a beautiful couple they make! i mean just look at Sarah! and this was a 5 min shoot after work. i mean come on! i can't wait to get these two in front of my camera!

are you worrying about something? is there a verse you are clinging to? is there a beautiful couple you are lucky to be around?

{*BTW: i know i am blessed. i know i live in a first world*}

happy wednesday